I really need advise...

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Re: I really need advise...

Post by Guest on Tue Sep 30, 2008 9:21 am

[b] TY Eileen Very Happy

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Re: I really need advise...

Post by jessijennings on Wed Oct 01, 2008 1:31 am

I look at yahoo reviews and such of councilors but yeah a lot of them suck the last three we went to as a couple I felt where pretty useless..

Why cant you just tell him, I’m not okay with you perusing a relationship with your ex. I feel that Me and our child/children should be your focus now not rekindling past relationships with ex girlfriends.
I think you should really only get to talk to one girl in life that you have seen naked.. once you have seen a girl naked and moved on to another that one is off limits. Kwim?

And if your DF is interested in being “such a good friend” with her why not point out the fact that she doesn’t even tell her boyfriend they talk and obviously doesn’t want him to be a part of her life as it is now. By perusing this “friendship” he is making both your and her life harder so why doesn’t he just turn around focus all that “need to talk” energy inside your relationship.. he should be confiding in you anyway!

Why do guys have to be such selfish little babies its like she’s my friend this is what I like to do your trying to change who I am.. waaaa is it like a regression, maybe a new reality show who can be the biggest baby? Or maybe its one of those natures way of getting you ready for motherhood or something..
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Re: I really need advise...

Post by eileen bauer on Wed Oct 01, 2008 9:20 am

The biggest baby?!?!?! I love it!!! The sad part is my 2 yr old might lose to some of the men!...lol Jessi can I get an "AMEN sister!"?
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Re: I really need advise...

Post by jessijennings on Wed Oct 01, 2008 11:13 am

lol
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Re: I really need advise...

Post by sanderson0705 on Wed Oct 01, 2008 6:59 pm

SO I may not be on here as much, got yelled at at work on monday Sad something about my productivity, but they fail to see that I do a minimum of double what everyone in my dept does a day soooo...

Amanda isn't an ex. She was underage when they knew eachother before, she is the "I wonder what could have been..." SO that sux. As far as I know she never talked to him the other day. I didn't persue it though. I was told by a friend here that "whatever is done in dark will be brought to light" I am trying to stick to that belief.

We saw "nights in rodanthe" last night. when we got home he asked me if I thought he took things for granted. I told him only he could answer that. He named a few small things I do for thim that he would miss if they didn't happen. I would have loved to have this conversation with him, however it was at like 1230A and I was tired. Maybe we can retouch on it tonight. Anyways I gotta run Sad will try and check back in later before I leave Smile
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Re: I really need advise...

Post by mnelson80 on Wed Oct 01, 2008 8:15 pm

That sux.. about work. I was wondering about you the other day too... Glad there's nothing wrong.

It's been a rough week for us so far.. lame.. Rolling Eyes

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Re: I really need advise...

Post by sanderson0705 on Wed Oct 01, 2008 8:25 pm

Its this huge stupid thing. My boss is a boss that if you tick her off in anyway you wind up on "her list" there is literally no getting off of it. SO because I tend to speak my mind about people and the way they do work, I am being "punished" because I am so negative Rolling Eyes so my internet was taken away. This isn't something that is monitored at work, and the "instances" she sighted were very vague, not specific, nothing in writing. So I am having a meeting with our CEO on Friday (whom LOVES me Smile ) because I feel I am being singled out and intimidation is being used. I was told on Monday that she is so tired of hearing from my coworkers how negative I am (wtfe lol) that she would rather me quit. That sounds intimidating to me. Especially since I have never been formerly corrected for anything. So I will be on here when I can, which won't be nearly as often, but hopefully at least once a day! Smile
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Re: I really need advise...

Post by Guest on Thu Oct 02, 2008 9:13 am

Oh wow sounds like a bunch of bull to me. I despise people like that. Go git' her at the meeting with the CEO Twisted Evil heheheh. At least it isn't monitored there so you have a chance to try and get on once a day. Hopefully this will pass on by just as quick as it arose.

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Re: I really need advise...

Post by jessijennings on Fri Oct 03, 2008 12:25 am

good luck with the meeting
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Re: I really need advise...

Post by sanderson0705 on Mon Oct 06, 2008 5:57 pm

yeah so far hasn't happened. how crappy is that? How is everyone?? I miss you!!!
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Re: I really need advise...

Post by mnelson80 on Mon Oct 06, 2008 7:15 pm

We miss you too.. I was just thinking today how much I hate your job for taking you away.. lol!

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Re: I really need advise...

Post by sanderson0705 on Tue Oct 07, 2008 3:43 pm

lol, im just being "punished" for the time being. I am (even being online) 3x more productive (making 80-100 outbound calls a day) than anyone else on my team and my boss doesn't like that I will point that out. So I am being singled out for being negative and this is punishment. WTFE lol Smile How is everyones life??
Ours is OK I guess. Nothing has really happened good or bad, we had a bit of a set back last week, neither of us are ready to call it quits. As far as I know there is still no amanda in the picture cheers but you never know that could change. I pointed out to her that it wasn't only my relationship being tested by them and I had a lot more to lose than her. She said she understood, and I have left it at that. So keep your fingers crossed.

I put in for my FMLA, 12/3 will officially be my last day worked. You would think with this being number 4 I wouldn't be nervous, but I am LOL!!

Ok ladies, gotta run before I get caught Smile Cool Keep me posted Smile
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Re: I really need advise...

Post by sanderson0705 on Mon Oct 20, 2008 7:18 pm

Well thought I should update. Been talking to Amanda (I dunno what I think of her anymore) I guess DF hasn't really been talking to her all that much (yeah!!) but she told HER BF that he and I should talk??! WTF right. So he txt me on Friday, and I "talked" to him for like 3 hours. Crazy huh. Felt guilty, told DF who's tone totally changed. He's all "Why?" in that wow I really hate and an uncomfortable that you did that sort of tone. I told him I thought it was her way of saying, Ok you talk to my BF now I can talk to yours.

She wants the 4 of us do do something (like dinner or something) after Halloween. I am still weary. Her man is weary too, but not nearly as invested as I am (only a 4 month relationship) So I'm like, Yeah that would be fun (all the while shaking my head no lol)

Found out something crazy though, I grew up with her family. Her aunt was my babysitter (about 4 years older than me) and our families were actually really tight back in the day. Small world I guess.

Still trying to make the best out of a crappy situation. Getting I love you's once in a blue moon, but still not any "action" if you know what I mean. That sucks, makes things seem amplified to me.

Alright well, just wanted to update. Smile
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Re: I really need advise...

Post by eileen bauer on Sat Nov 01, 2008 4:58 pm

Jessi and all, my church group is doing this study called "Love Dare" it is from the movie "fire proof", yeah it is christian but it is more about the stuff then the scripture and stuff so if you aren't into the church part that is fine it still works. It is 40 days long and you do one thing a day it has like 2 pages to read a day so guys don't get lost either. My hubby loves it and he is not into that kind of stuff, but very cool and we are loving it if you guys are interested. it isn't all touchy lovee and feelings and so on it is about learning how to love your partner, like day one is not saying anythign negative to your partner, another one is to do something nice for them, another is to have dinenr and it gives you questions to ask to help you "study" your partner it is cool. the web site is www.fireproofmymarriage.com or something like that if I am wrong but you shoudl look into it.

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Re: I really need advise...

Post by rocknrollmommy616 on Sat Nov 01, 2008 10:43 pm

what do you mean by not getting any "action"? Like sex, or like actions of love? Like doing things for you. not even material things, but like washing the dishes or making dinner so you don't have to slave away or anything. Just wondering since I actually took that two ways lol. Hope you get to get back on the computer! We miss you!!!
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Re: I really need advise...

Post by mnelson80 on Sun Nov 02, 2008 7:24 pm

I've heard of that..actually. Wish it could work for us, but I think it finally all came to a head. It was horrible while my parents were here. I actually stayed at his parents last night because I didn't want to come home. His mom confornted him about what happened. We haven't spoken yet and I'm a little nervous about that. I'll be moving before the end of the month. I haven't decided yet if I'll get a place here or move back to Wisconsin with the kids.

It really sucks that it's come to this, but it's not safe anymore and I have to think of the kids. I think the only thing that could happen for me to give this a chance would be AA and I hightly doubt that at this point. Surprised(

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Re: I really need advise...

Post by Guest on Tue Nov 04, 2008 4:03 am

Bekah- I think she means action as in "getting some" yano sex I think if I can remember in previous posts that part wasn't happening too often for poor shay even though her hormones are high and rollin her man wasnt receptive of that due to issues he is dealing with ..... Right Shay?

Man I can barely stand to think of dtd I am so tired all the time I don't even care to think about that... I barely have time to sleep let alone dtd and drain what little energy I get from a few hours of sleep..and hubby get huffy thinking my hormones are just messed up or I am not attracted to him etc etc I am thinking and have told him so that aint the case its just I am so friggin tired all the time but he dont buy it even though it is the truth



speaking of haven't seen jessi on posting in a bit and still havent heard from wyo mommy hoping all is well with you two and hope to hear from you soon... although jessi is probably busy with her lo and surely wyo has had her lo and is equally busy..

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Re: I really need advise...

Post by mythreesons on Tue Nov 04, 2008 10:51 am

Michelle-Not sure what's going on in your home situation since I havent read all the posts, just the most recent, butit sounds like you and your SO are having problems...Duh, right?I mean it sounds like you guys are possibly separating, is that right?I hope everything turns out ok.If you need to talk or want to then I'm here or you can email me in private if you want to...{{Hugs}}

Shannon
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Re: I really need advise...

Post by sanderson0705 on Tue Nov 04, 2008 11:21 am

Wow I feel lost on this for some reason haha Smile

Yes I was/still am getting very little. It is very frustrating especially when he isn't getting out of work until 330-4A and I am not sure if that is due to legit work reasons (food prep, money issues etc) or because he is chatting. Or both. It is terrible to think that he may be "getting his" and too tired to put in the physical effort so "we" can get ours.

Michelle, I am so sorry to hear that things are the way they are, you know you can always call me (no matter what time) or text me or whatever if you need to talk vent or just cry.

I have talked to Amanda's man a few times. Scary thing?? He looks EXACTLY like Michael. He sent me a pic (I didn't ask) and I was like holy crap. I hit it off with him really well, we haven't actually talked, all txt but when we txt it is for a few hours at a time. So I have backed off because I don't want to do exactly what Amanda did with Michael.

My Bday was pretty good, I got a dvd camcorder. Still haven't opened it Smile lol

All in all, I *think* we are doing good, definately better. It is a matter of me being able to seperate what he does from how he feels, if that makes any sense. He needs counseling and I know that he won't go, so that may be an issue in the future.

4 more weeks!! I am sooooo excited. I finally did a little bit of shopping, bought a breast pump. Got it on ebay for 140, so keep your fingers crossed it wasn't made out to be more than it is Smile
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Re: I really need advise...

Post by sanderson0705 on Wed Nov 05, 2008 11:04 am

You know, I wish I could get to a place (for more than a week at a time) that I didn't need to post under this thread.

Ok, so yesterday, Michael and I "talked" about getting rid of the pic mail. He said he understood that I was uncomfortable and we could remove that with no issue. Then I get a txt from him (very very random) later in the day asking if I want to remove it maybe because I feel guilty about something I've done. Im like wtf, so I call him and low and behold, he's been talking to Amanda about it. According to him, she sends him a lot of forwarded things or random pics (I didn't ask don't think I want to know) and she raised the idea of my having done something.

So I told him point blank, he has received a pic of me (the one for my avatar) and I sent one simular (without the i love you) to Amanda's bf like a week ago. Other than that, I don't send or receive. The one to her BF was done under different circumstances..hmm lets see..Im NOT looking to get off by him (duh)

I guess Amanda was like, well you want to see who you're talking to (like its perfectly normal) And he ended up telling her EVERYTHING. He hadn't told her about the abuse he suffered etc. So I was very hurt by that, that "secret" of his was something he had only shared with me, and now she knows about it.

So she txt me asking why its such a big deal (the pics) and I told her that it wasn't any of her business, but I found it interesting that it was so important to her. We had some minor words and shes the one who told me that he had told her everything. And of course, she was abused when she was young too, so she "understands" his "why". I wanted to puke.

So I basically acted like whatever. She told me that I shouldn't worry, that it "helps" him and he comes home to me so why argue. I had to tell her that first of all, I have already had this conversation with the person whom matters, second, its not any of her business, and third I have no intention of justifying why I feel how I do to her. Bit of small talk, end of conversation.

Michael and his friend Mikey went running last night, and according to both of them ( I believe Mikey over Michael with this stuff) Amanda sent a txt that was meant for her man (she has her man listed as "my love" in her contacts) that basically said she wanted to f***. So instead of calling me to say, hey I'm going to be a little late because I have to go give her crap about sending this to me (haha) he just goes over to her work. Ok not that big of deal. I get a txt from her man saying, hey is this mikes number? I just got a strange txt. I said yes, what did it say. Michael had the nerve to txt him saying Amanda wants to F***, race you to her.

So I try calling him, and am ignored. According to him because he knew why I was calling and because it was a joke didn't "want to deal with me" right then. I asked him who the hell he thought he was, and how inappropriate blah blah blah. Her man is pissed, I'm pissed and Michael was trying to be funny.

I talk to her man for a bit, calm him down, explain that michael is an idiot etc.

Michael and I talk, and he had told me MONTHS ago, that Amanda was the "one that got away". He told me that he still has those, I wonder what could have...feelings or whatever for her.

So after this terribly long post, my question is, in your opinion, the "I wonder what could have..." feelings, are those different for guys? I mean, I have "the one that got away" but I don't think that if I ran into him today those "feelings" would be part of the draw to stay connected to him. He is terrible at wording things, and I am having a very hard time accepting that it is "I wonder.." vs "I wonder enough to develop stronger feelings".

I asked him if it went further than the "I wonder.." if he would tell me. He said no not until years later so I wouldn't have a reason to leave him. What the hell does that mean? Is it possible that he is that stupid that he can't even word things semi correctly?

I hate this, I want to move right now so she isn't in the picture like she is now. I want her to drop off the face of the earth. I want her to grow up and realize and put her foot down (she says there's no conncetion there) I just want her to go away. This will eat at me. I really think this would be the reason I leave him, and I want to make sure that if that happens, I leave him because he has developed feelings, not that I am afraid he might.
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Re: I really need advise...

Post by mythreesons on Wed Nov 05, 2008 3:10 pm

His comment about how he wouldn't tell you if something happened would really bother me alot...I think she needs to be out of the picture and if she cant understand that there are 2 people in a marriage/engagement and not three then she needs help.It is entirely possible that he is that stupid for wording things that way(I think its common for most men)My heart aches for you to be having to deal with stupid crap like that especially while preggo.He needs to leave her alone.I think she is enjoying the attention and likes stirring up trouble...She's got to go...Hugs girl!!

Shannon
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Re: I really need advise...

Post by sanderson0705 on Wed Nov 05, 2008 5:12 pm

It is so stupid. He said that she "cut all ties" with him this morning via text message. I know her man was livid and most likey did the, you need to choose thing. Either that, or she is genuinely a nice person and finally had that, oh my god I can't believe this friendship is that over bounds moment and just realized that its a bad situation overall.

He always gets super sweet after this crap. I think he is just an idiot. Sadly lol
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Re: I really need advise...

Post by mythreesons on Wed Nov 05, 2008 6:12 pm

It just goes with my theory about men...They only have enough blood in their body to control one head at a time and when they are vertical(example:standing up, sitting, etc)the blood drains down so guess which head is doing the thinking...Hopefully she will stay out of the picture so you guys can start to have a better relationship.Keeping my fingers crossed for you!
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Re: I really need advise...

Post by sanderson0705 on Wed Nov 05, 2008 6:30 pm

Alright yet another tidbit..god I am so done with this.

Michael called me like an hour ago, was all serious, asked me to think before I answer. He wanted to know if I had any issue with him asking Amanda to lunch so he can apologize/say goodbye/get closure.

I told him I couldn't give him an answer right then. I asked him for the same honesty (he was pretty much in tears when he was talking) and I asked him if deeper feelings had developed. He said no.

I am so confused.

She won't stay out of the picture. I asked her man what his opinion was (I feel I can trust him) he said it wont last, she plays games etc and that he is breaking up with her tonight. So I am wondering now if this is my test, can I make him choose (that is what it feels like it will come down to) Her reason for cutting ties was so she didn't lose her man. I AM SO CONFUSED.
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Re: I really need advise...

Post by jessijennings on Wed Nov 05, 2008 7:02 pm

seriously he is breaking up with her? is he dating her? btw just a tidbit for you my baby was small and my body went crazy at the end .. this is most likely due to stress thoughout the preggnecy..

You may have to choose highschool dramathon or your babys health you dont need to be stressing out like this your a momma and this is high school you should seriously think about it and have a talk with your man he needs to decide if he is in this relationship or not and if he is whyis he chasing some "friend" girl ? he needs to be focusing on his baby and you.
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