March Lions and Lambs

Michelle- feverall is just acetometaphin in suppository form. McKenna refuses to take oral medication...chewable or liquid form...so this is easier to fight with her on.

Joy- OMG how crazy!!!! That must have been way scary.

Bekah- Remember it takes a bigger person to ask and recognize that they need help. I have been having similar issues...in my head intellectually I know I am a good wife and Mom...but it doesn't match how I feel, I feel like a crappy mom and wife. I started seeing a counselor last week and I will be seeing a pysciatrist in April...PPD can happen anytime in the first year of birth...(my issues are a combo of PPD and PTSD). Asking for help means you are an even better mom, you recognize that you don't like how you are feeling and want to do something about it, for your self and your family. I hope you do go see someone even if it is just to talk and get it all out there.


AFM- I am very very tired, it was a really long night but thankfully McKenna's fever broke and hasn't returned yet, so I have my fingers crossed that the worst is over and it will stay just a cold. Today I am doing some packing for next week and a little cleaning aroung the house.

Right now, I hate Dallas - they grounded all the planes last night because of high winds, so DH spent yet another night in TX and last night was the worst at home! Because Logan's not feeling well, he would only sleep in my arms - so I spent pretty much the entire night in the rocking chair holding him! Not the best way to sleep!! He's on a plane (or at least I hope he is) to Chicago where he'll catch a flight home. I was so pissed last night I was hysterical. I'm still upset about it. So I had 2 very disappointed kids this morning when they woke up to find out that Daddy wasn't home yet. Because of course I didn't know he flight was even delayed let alone cancelled until they were in bed! So they went to bed thinking that when they woke up this morning, they were going to see Daddy. I'm just exhausted - I hope Logan's fever is gone or at least lower, but I don't know. Part of me is afraid to take it. I figure I'll take it in an hour or so when he can have more tyelnol. I figured if I took it first thing this morning it probably wouldn't be too accurate since he had been sleeping on me. Ok - rant over

Bekah - you should talk to someone - it sounds like you might have some PPD going on. I'd give your therapist a call - even if you just have one session, at least you'll get it all out there and can plan a course of action!

Kim - Hope McKenna is doing better!

Joy - OMG!! Glad everyone is okay - but yeah, I would've been freaking out too!!

Eileen - if memory serves, you're not supposed to do cheerios until 9mo when they can grab them themselves - i think the gerber graduates are from 6mo? i'd check the label....

ok - time to deal with the kiddos and hopefully not go too insane!!

Sorry about not being on a lot girls. I have just been really weird lately, hence the last post.

Eileen - Happy Anniversary girl! Hope you guys have some fun plans tonight!

Joy - omg! You know i hear about people shooting out car windows all the time! Had you thought to look for a bullet in the car? Of course, that may not have been what it was, it could have been anything. Sometimes I wonder if extreme weather puts pressure on those windows and blows them out. But I don't know crap about cars, so don't listen to me lol I'm just talking out my rear end! Well I'm glad Faith is okay. I can imagine the fear the surged through you, very scary stuff. But now you know she can sleep through just about anything!

Elise - I'm so sorry he had to be cooped up in the airport all night. You know yesterday we had tornado watches and wind advisories all night! Yeah, that's the thing about Texas weather, it's totally unpredictable(well unless ur a meteorologist), one second it's sunny and warm, next it's raining and windy! I have a love/hate relationship with our climate.... anyways, hope he is home soon hun! poor logan, i hate it when babies are sick. so helpless.

kim - thank you so much. I just feel like a mean mom and a terrible wife. What is the PTSD from, if you don't mind my asking?

AFM - I think I am going to go see my therapist at least for a couple of sessions. I am really unhappy and I seem to ignore Joey when he's in a foul mood b/c i don't want to deal with it. I need help. I love Joey, i really do and that's why I am opting to see someone about this. I love him too much to put him thru this. Thanks for the words of encouragement, and I do plan of fixing this as soon as possible!

Bekah- that is how I was starting to feel, just completely overwhelmed...I love my kids and my husband more than anything in this world. Dh and I even have a fantastic relationship, we rarely fight about anything, so when I began noticing that I was picking fights with him or say something little would happen, my reaction to that incident would be over the top, I also started having anxiety attacks...like when I would be in public situations I all of a sudden started feeling nauseous and felt like I would be sick...there were times when I would wonder what it would be like just to walk away, of course my love for my family prevented me from ever following through, the thoughts were there. If you research PPD, many of my symptoms fit. Now that I am aware, I try to control my actions/reactions but sometimes it is hard. I am always very critical of myself and tell myself how dumb and stupid I am when I am not. Anyway...the PTSD my therapist thinks is a result of many things, one my parent's divorce was nasty, I heard and saw things no 5 year old should have...I once heard my Dad say he would splatter my mom's guts all over the wall, it has stayed with me. I was sexually abused (one incident) by a male friend of the family while he was babysitting...this happened around the same time as the divorce, but I repressed it until I was 9 when one day I decided to tell my step-dad...even though I feel I have gotten over it my therapist feels that in my sub-concious it still factors in...she also considers both my pregnacies traumatic as both of them had major complications...along with feeling like a failure for not being able to breast feed...seriously, if I went into all my issues I could probably type forever...LOL. But my kids deserve better than having me feel the way I do as does my Dh as do I so that is why I sought out help...My last two therapy sessions have also been just straight talk therapy which has helped tremendously as it allowed me to unload my burden, starting with my apt next week we are actually doing an intensive type of therapy called EMDR (you can research it if you google EMDR Institute) it is kind of neat actually, it kind of retrains your brain and files away the bad stuff so it is not so bad any more, of course it doesn't make it go away to just helps with not thinking about the stuff with such a negative conotation. Feel free to email me if you want to talk more outside of the board...and if you ever feel in crisis, call...401-374-7925,(or anytime) I would be happy to listen.

kim - omg that is exactly what I am doing! The smallest thing will turn me into a complete monster. If DH forgets one tiny thing or does something a little different, I totally go off the deep end! Then I have these anxiety attacks too and just break down into tears and want to run away from Cory and Joey both, but i know i could never do that b/c I love them soooo much! I felt horrible telling you all about it, but now I feel sooo much better now that I know I am not the only one, not that I'm happy about it. I think a few sessions with my therapist would be good. I remember her very well, she has a shaggy dog named Charlie that sits in her office, it's very sweet. Anyways, she actually helped me get over a few past mistakes with men and see what I really wanted. I told DH the other day (he doesn't believe in shrinks.. i'm not sure y), that if it wasn't for this woman, we probably never would have gone on a date. I was actually weirded out by him at first, then I started thinking, "maybe he isn't so bad after all." And he's not. oh no, got to go, Joey is whining, ttyl!

Well, he FINALLY made it home at 4:30pm tonight. He didn't have to spend the night at the airport - he managed to get a hotel room at the Westin about 10 min from the aiport. Then he caught a 6:30am flight to Chicago and then a 12:50pm flight home. I told him if they want him to go back out he's not allowed to take that late of a flight home - he needs to be on the 1st flight in the am!!

Bekah - glad you're getting help - everything you describe sounds like PPD to me. I've had similar thoughts, but never to the extreme. I've only had what I call the "baby blues" - mild mild case of PPD. I always feel better after I unload everything either to DH or friends. That's how I know it's not full blown PPD.

Ok - kids are in bed - I'm going to decompress and then hopefully get to actually sleep in a bed tonight!!!! Oh - and Logan's fever broke today, so whoo hoo! Hopefully he'll have a decent night's sleep too!

Bekah- You know the cop and us while taking some of the glass out last night did not notice any bullets or rocks etc. But the cop did say that with it being tempered glass that in order to break a completely perfect(no cracks or nicks on it) window of its type whatever was used had to be really strong and something that if thrown would have a bit of force behind it...like a lug nut or a bearing something that was really hard. And today I went down stairs to vacuum out the entire van moving seats and everything and I did not find any object inside. But I did notice there was pieces of glass that ended up coming way up to the front of the van... Good news though is that my handiwork on the window with plastic, cardboard, and more plastic and almost a whole 30yd roll of all weather heavy duty duct tape held strong while hubby was driving 65-70 mph this morning to a men's breakfast at church...so at least it is study and stuff.

Elise- so happy that he finally got home!!!

Bekah- talking to someone is nice...remember we aren't Super Women, it isn't a shameful thing when we need to ask for help.

AFM-I am working my double today, and it is rainy out, so that makes for a long boring day.

Bekah - Good to hear from you but sad to hear of your struggles! I think, as mom's and wives, we all feel that way at times. I think when it becomes more than ocassional it's good to seek help! Kuddos to your for recognizing your feelings.

Joy - That is just crazy! I'm sure your heart was in your throat when you saw your daughter slumped over! It could have been a small rock or bolt or something that was in the road and came off of a tire just right and hit your window just right.....that just stinks!

Kim - I am just so proud of you for seeking help and I'm happy it is helping you get things where you want them to be! How is McKenna feeling?

Elise - It's about time your DH made it home! Geesh! That's a lot to have gone thru for him to get home!

AFM - I think Brenden is cutting out his morning nap. He used to go down after his 9am bottle like clockwork....this past week he has fallen asleep while burping but wakes and laughs when I lay him in bed. The up side is he is passed out by 12:30 and will sleep a good 3+ hours in the afternoon. He does get pretty fussy about 11:30 so I gave him a bitter biscuit yesterday to munch on....he sucked it like he sucked that cheeto during spring break....and actually 1/2 the biscuit was gone in about 20mins. Man are those things MESSY! Anyway, DH is off his regular hours next week and works what they call "B Shift". Which means he won't be home in the evening until 6:30 at the earliest...I HATE IT! It leaves me making dinner, cleaning up the mess, helping Dawson with homework, bathing Brenden and showering Dawson (he requires minimal help though) and usually giving the baby the last bottle and putting him to bed. It's like a mad rush between 4pm and 8pm when everyone is suppose to be in bed. Well, I'm off to the kitchen. DH wants a pinapple upside down cake to take to work tomorrow and I have catering to prep for. Thank goodness I'm only catering tomorrow and not all week. I didn't realize it was "B Shift" week when I took the job. Have a great Sunday evening!

Michelle- I know what you mean about feeling like it is a mad rush in the evenings...my DH works 10 hour days most days 8-6pm...I hate it but have come to live with it. I am so happy you only have one catering job this week...I couldn't imagine trying to do more. McKenna seems to be doing much better fever wise...she sounds like crap with the cold but I am hoping the fever doesn't return and it just remains a cold.

AFM: there are 4 guys working tonight plus me on the desk (minimum manning is 2) so I asked my Sgt instead of DH coming to me with the girls and dinner could I just run home (I live 2min away) and he said yes...so I get to go home and eat with my family...I am so excited!

Michelle- It could have been something off the road but it shattered the whole window...and the cop seemed convinced that because it is such a sturdy glass that its more likely someone probably threw something at our van...the beginning of the freeway starts in a big town and we were just getting ready to head outta town and jump on freeway and that is when it happened. It really sucks because our ins is still making us pay 300 to have it fixed even though we had no control over what happened whatsoever..and we don't have the cash on hand to get it fixed so I am hoping the cardboard duct tape and plastic holds for awhile. So far so good though it has withstood 70mph driving with some wind it survived getting rained on plus driving so maybe it will last till we can fix it...

Joy- the same thing happened to my friends parent's. They were actually on their way to DH's 30th birthday party this last Decemeber. Honestly at first they thought the truck was shot at...but some little snot nose kids were hiding in a ditch throwing rocks at cars, the rock went through the window, and between the glaze and rock grazing her, my friends mom got severely cut over her eye and had to get several stitches.

AFM- I am working today, and I have to start packing for our trip this week, as it is a hectic week, tomorrow I work and going to a class to make Ukranian eggs, Wed we are taking the girls to get their pictures taken and extra's of Landree for her 6mo photos and then I have a therapy apt...and then we are leaving at 5:30am on Thursday for our trip...so if I don't start packing tonight I am in deep doo doo.

Good morning Ladies!
I'm so sorry I don't have time for personals. Plus I'm still trying to catch up! Sorry it's been a few days! If I can get past this week, it will be a miracle! I have parent -teacher conferences, plus last week my principal emailed some of us and told us it was time for our annual observation- she watches a lesson and critiques it. The kicker was she wanted them all done by April 8th. Which means I have to have a pre-lesson meeting first then the lesson. Plus this week we have a ton of rehearsals for our annual kids' music concert. So kids will be off all week. Then I get an email last night that she needs my mid-year review by April 9th. I swear she's trying to put me over the edge! She's stressed and making everyone else stressed!

Anyways enough venting! Maddie slept through the night both last night and Fri. night. Sat. she slept at my parents because dh and I were helping at a benefit dinner for a friend's brother. My mom taught her how to roar, it's so funny and now she's trying to clap her hands! She is getting a cough and had a runny nose, and dh has a bad cold. So here's hoping it doesn't get any worse!

Hope everyone is doing great! Hope to be on more after this week!
Kristen

Hi Everyone,

Bekah - Glad to see you back. I am sorry you are going through so much. I tell you what I felt the exact same way and my BC was the cause. I changed and everything has been great since. I wanted to divorce my DH and move away. There was no reason I just couldnt handle it anymore. I would blow things way out of proportion too. My DH and I are best buds and it just didnt make sense. I also LOVE therapy. It did a world of good for me. I think its good to have someone impartial and out of the middle of things to talk to.

Joy - OH MY GOODNESS! I am so glad Faith is ok. That is so scary. I am sorry you are having problems with the insurance company. They arent always the easiest to deal with.

Kim - Sounds like you have been and are going to be busy busy busy. That is not always a bad thing. Your trip sounds like fun and I cant wait to see your pictures. Your girls always take great ones.

Elise - I am there with you! DH was scheduled to get in at 9:00 Friday night and with the crazy weather he didnt get in until 2 AM on Saturday morning. That was such a hard night. I am glad your DH finally made it home. Yeah our weather here is really crazy. It went from being in the 70s to being in the 40s in a period of like 2 hours and the winds were crazy. I am just happy DH made it home safe. I am glad yours did too - even if he did have to go through Chicago.

MichelleL - Sounds like you will be busy today. Try and not go too crazy. My DH usually doesnt get home until 7 - 7:30 and that really throws off our evenings. Crazy Software Engineers dont like to get up early. I hope your week goes ok.

Eileen - I have no idea when kiddos are supposed to get graduate foods. I just know you want to be careful because if it is too early they can choke because they cant chew yet.

Kristen - Yeah for sleeping through the night.

AFM - Well this has been a weekend I will tell you what. Like I mentioned earlier DH didnt get home as planned and he was in really late. Well I felt like I was coming down with a possible sinus infection on Friday. I had tried to call my doctor and they had already closed for the day at noon so I was going to try and tuff it out until Monday. Well I woke up Saturday and the whole left side of my face was swollen. I couldnt open my mouth, my teeth all hurt, my eye felt like it was going to explode and my head hurt SO bad. So I had to go to the doc in a box - pay $50 for that and it turns out I have a Severe sinus infection. I was put on these horse pills and given liquid cough syrup (good stuff) and I am now taking like 6 pills several times a day. So I spent Saturday being miserable, DH was miserable cuz he was sick and tired from the flight in and then there is Nate. Well yesterday we decided to just stay home and try and get well. Nate had other plans for us. He stopped his breathing treatments on Friday his cough was back by Saturday night and by Sunday around 6 pm his right eye started swelling and gooping up. No matter how much we cleaned it it got worse. More red than anything I have seen. So i call the pediatric hot line thing and talk to an RN and they tell me to go to the hospital. So off we went. We got to the hospital around 10 PM and waited a good while before being seen. It turns out Nate has an upper respiratory infection, a double ear infection and pink eye in both eyes. AWESOME! We didnt get home until 1:45 AM So I am at home today. I have a call in to our Dr to see if they want to see him and if he needs to go back on breathing treatments but he is on an antibiotic right now along with eye drops. Oh and on top of it he has 4 teeth trying to come in. The top front 2 are really coming in. One has broken through already. There is one next to those and one next to the bottom front 2 that are visible now as well. I had to stop in the middle of this post because he woke up screaming his head off. I gave him some tylenol, rubbed oragel on his gums and rocked him back to sleep. I think its time for my nap. A little break from disinfecting everything in the house.

Take Care!

OMG Amy- that is a lot for one weekend!!! I hope all of you start feeling better soon...your poor household.

Well, I was gonna get on here and complain about my terrible evening but after reading Amy's post I just can't do it! Hang in there girl! Good grief....I guess everything decided to show up all at once for poor little Nate! I hope he is doing okay today!

Hi Guys - Well today it seems Nate is finally getting a bit better. He slept almost all day. It was from 10 AM to 2:30 PM while I disinfected the whole house. Good Times.
Now he went back to sleep at 4:30 and I think he will sleep for a while. Poor little one. He hasnt wanted to do very much but hang out on the couch with me and play with a stuffed animal or talk or something. He isnt in the mood to be really active just yet. I think that will come tomorrow. He doesnt like the eye drops but who would?

I guess that is it for now. Oh it seems my pediatrician has a new nurse. I am so bummed. This one (who I have never met in person) just doesn't seem as good as Jennifer. I will have to find out what happened to her.

I guess that is it for now.

hi all im back!thanks for the birthday wishes...will explian more later

Hi girls, lots to catch up on.....

Joy, that is scary. I can't imagine how you felt seeing Faith laying there.

Bekah, glad to see you back, sorry to hear you're having a rough time. i hope you find someone to talk to.

Kim, Nice you were able to go home for dinner...we've been eating dinner at 4 - 4:30 now DH goes to school, it's just not the same.

Amy...OMGosh..poor lil Nate, that lil guy needs a break. I'm glad he's feeling better but I think he's had his share now.

Eileen, hope you had a nice anniversary.

Hey to all the other girls I missed...

AFM:It was along weekend here too. Aubrey woke up Sat with a fever and it was still here this morn so off we went to Dr. I had them take another urine test and preliminary test looks like another UTI. After the lab results come back my pedi is going to talk with the urologist and see what they want to do but I don't think she's going to make it a year before surgery. My pedi said they would have expected her to get another infection maybe even 2 within the year b/c they outgrow their dosage of preventative meds but not in 2 weeks. We also talked that she will have other test(s) like upper GI for sure to make sure nothing else is going on in there before they go in b/c if there is we want everything that can be done at once done. She's getting so used to it she hardly even fussed when they cathed her today...that's a damn shame! I'm glad she's a trooper though.
Seriously, I'm just to the point that I want them to figure out everything that's going on and take care of it. I'm tired of her feeling like crap. She seriously has spent more of her almost 6 months on her back sick.

Amy-Wow....what a super long weekend for you. Glad that Nate seems to be getting better.

Kim Good Luck on all the packing and stuff. Can't wait to see pics as well your girls are always adorable.

Diana- Oh my goodness Poor Aubrey...They really do need to get it figured out that poor girl...and poor you also it cannot be easy seeing your little girl go through so much being so little.

Kristen- Sorry the chaos from work is so overwhelming hope you get a nice break during spring break though...That's the only bad thing about being a teacher is the semester ends, marking period grading and all that stuff.. it all sneaks up at one time and makes for a horrible work overload..other than that the perks of teaching are awesome esp the summers off part.

Amy- glad to hear that Nate is feeling a little better...I hope you all are back to 100% soon.

Shannon- so happy to have you back, Post and fill us in on all you have been up too. We have missed you.

Diana- I hope you get some answers soon. I know this is difficult, just know we are here for you to vent to anytime you need it.

Diana - I am sorry to hear that Aubry is going through all of this. I hope she is well soon. My heart goes out to you.

Shannon - Girl where have you been? I have been wondering about you. Post when you can and let us know all about it.

AFM: I am back at work today and Nate is back at daycare. He seemed so much better by bedtime last night. That must be a great antibiotic / eye drop combo they gave us. It seems to really be doing the trick. I told DH that I needed a vacation - by myself. I am thinking me in a nice tropical hut thing on the beach for a couple of days... drinking daquris and reading books and lounging. Oh who am I kidding? #1 that would require a bathing suit - I dont think so! #2 I would be bored after the first day. #3 I would miss my Nate too much. Oh well --- its nice to dream. Ok back to work I go.

Take Care Ladies!

Kim- Thanks I missed you all as well!

Ok so since I've missed a week its going to be tough to catch up. To all those whose DH's just came home, I'm happy they finally got back to help out.To those with sick kiddos, I'm sorry and hope they all feel better really soon.

So my birthday last tuesday started out with me on the go...We were getting rid of our dish network and getting cable and switching the internet from my mom's name into ours(it was a gift while I was in school for awhile).But in order to get the internet hooked up my mom had to cancel the service on her end first. I had a PTO meeting at the school at 8:30am and got to go without any kids.DH was home waiting or the cable guy and I dropped ODS off and went to my meeting.I then had kindergarten registration for DS#2 right after(geez the amount of paperwork was slightly less than buying a house I think).So I got home and my mom had cancelled the internet and I thought well ok at least we have tv to watch.Well the next morning the cable wasn't working.Apparently when my mom called and cancelled, the idiots that do the disconnect saw service for our house and cancelled all of it.So we had to wait until Friday for a tech to reconnect everything.So we had no internet and no tv for a few days(just got internet back yesterday).Luckily they were busy days so the kids didn't complain too much. Wednesday was scouts night and Thursday was the lasagna dinner /bingo night at ODS school.It was a blast!! Well Friday I was running errands for my neighbor(lol she paid me to go shopping)and DS#2 and Lucas and I went to ODS school early.I always put my phone on vibrate when Im there so we don't interrupt anything.My phone was buzzing away the whole time we were there. My MIL kept calling and DH did so I finally answered him calling. My MIL was in the hospital with 2 blood clots in her leg and possibly some in her lungs.My FIL was out of town at a softball convention and couldn't let the dog out so she needed DH tocome out for the weekend and sit by her side and let the dog out.Turns out her lungs had a few clots in them.Now here's where I end up sounding like a bitch...The woman chain smokes like a chimney and is cancer free for barely a year. Before she had her surgery to remove the cancer, she had a clot in her leg and was warned then that she absolutely must quit smoking.She didn't. She didn't want to call FIL and bother him(they have some seriously messed up family dynamics) nor did she want to call her sisters who live locally to let the dog out.Im sorry but she actually wasn't in a life threatening position and other than let the dog out, there was nothing for him to do. I had plans all weekend(for once it was going to be about me).I was suposed to go out Saturday to lunch and a movie with my cousin to celebrate my birthday and then my dad and the step-bitc* were supposed to come out sunday. Im sorry but if it was me in the hospital, my family would know and DH would come back no matter where he was to be by my side.DH got ahold of his father on Friday night and told him he needed to get home.FIL said he'd be home Sunday(which was the original time he was supposed to be home).So DH was gone ALL weekend! Saturday was a nice day and my kids stayed with Mary next door for an hour so I could run to the store for groceries and dog food. We came home and ate dinner. Mary invited us to go to the high school play her son was in but I was so wiped out from the way the weekend was going that I didn't want to go and when DS#2 said he didn't want to go I tol her Id stay here with him. She took ODS though and said he was good as gold! They got home at around 10pm and ODS was sleepy and headed to the bathroom where he promply threw up. I called DH and told him what was going on and while we were on the phone ODS threw up in his bed and then trailed to the bathroom where he threw up all over the cabinet and floor.Poor kid! Got him cleaned up and relocated to the living room.He threw up Sunday until around 4pm and then fell asleep at 7pm. I kept him home yesterday because he still wasn't eating and said his belly and throat hurt.He didn't move off the couch either.DH finally got home on Sunday afternoon. So anyway, thats the latest and greatest.Lucas has some new things going on which I'll post over on the brag board later...Missed you guys!

Wow Shannon- you were busy, I agree that blood clots are scary life threatening things...and since she has already had one, you would think she would institute some changes in her life. My mom had a DVT in her leg that had broken pieces go to her lungs when I was pg with McKenna (she litterally did almost die) so I am flabbergasted that FIL didn't come home, nor did she want to notify her other family. Do you know if she is on a blood thinner? It would just seem to me that she should have already been on one since she has a history of them. I am sorry your birthday plans were ruined though...maybe it is the theme for this year, crap birthdays, I know mine sucked too. Very happy to hear that you have cable and internet back though and you will be back in action with us here.

Diana - OH MY! I'm so sorry Aubrey has yet another infection! You know, if you really want something done then tell your pedi....Don't hold back when it comes to discussin her care.

Amy - Mr. Nate is just quite the rebounder isn't he?? LOL! I'm happy he's feeling better! He probably just missed his buddies at daycare! LOL!

Kim- I hope you have fun on your trip! I wanna go on a trip.....

Shannon - That is seriously a sucky birthday weekend! So sorry! I hate it when that happens......and it seems like it always happens to me too! :-(

I'm sorry if I missed anyone! I have a killer sinus headache and I've been up 3 nights in a row. Poor Brenden is still battling congestion and coughing while I've got a non-stop headache and stuffed up nose. It's not making for a good mother/son combination! DH isn't helping matters. We started switching full nights instead of half nights a few weeks ago. Well, I was up Saturday with the baby and he was suppose to take Sunday but at 3am he comes in waking me up saying Brenden has been up for an hour....he knew I was sick and he also knew I had been up with him and myself quite a bit the night before....what an a-hole. Anyway, last night Brenden was just having a horrible time. He was up from 2am to 5 am. Not really fussy but he didn't know what he wanted and he couldn't have another breathing treatment until 5 so we had to wait. Anyway, DH heard him screaming thru the treatment at 5:15 and came in acting hateful....like "why didn't you wake me up if he's been up this long" and "this is ridiculous". Well, first off, the baby can't help that he's sick, 2nd off, I know it's ridiculous but there's nothing I can do aobut it and 3rdly I wasn't waking him up because I have every intention of sleeping in my own bed all night long tonight. It was my night to take care of the baby and that's what I was gonna do. He thinks if anyting goes wrong he should wake me up to take him and my feeling is when it's your turn then it's your turn. The only time you should get the other person is if you feel overwhelmed and might do somehting stupid. I just don't understand this man. He wants it 50 million different ways and doesn't want to stick to the plan. I swear he doesn't get the concept of teamwork at home. To top it all off he is working late all week so I ahve to do everything.....he comes home, eats dinner, and then does whatever because I've already cooked, bathed, cleaned up, and put to bed. I am so upset. I've been having a lot of mixed up feelings lately. Not just being overwhelmed but just sick of everything. I'm not saying I don't love my kids because I love my boys more than anything, but I miss what my life was just last year! I'm trying to make it to September when Brenden is 1 year old and he's going to daycare....I'm just not cut out to be a stay at home mom anymore. But I feel I owe it to him, knowing financially I can stay home, to be here with him the first year just as I was with Dawson. But it is so hard. Instead of being understanding my dh actually had the nerve to tell me that he feels the same way I do....WTF? How can he feel this way? His life is virtually unchanged. I just want to slap him. Just as I was about to tell him I think I might need to see a therapist or my PCP at the very least about this he says "you just need a f'ing therapist to get rid of your f'ing attitude!" That just really makes anyone in conflict want to seek help..... Thanks for letting me get all of that out! I feel so much better! I'm calling a therapist today and I'm going to take care of myself so I can take care of my kids. What Tony does it up to him, but if he can't get on the bus headed to happy land then he's gonna be stuck in bitchy land by himself.