so.. vent n stuff

Wow. I don't know what it is with guys not realizing that, uh yeah, you can't leave your baby in the car duh.

The communication thing is hard. Michael gets after me because I don't communicate, and its not that I don't, its that I don't involve him in everything. If I make arrangements to pick up the kids differently, I just don't find it something that he needs to know all the time. I dunno, he's right to a degree, we are a family and decisions should be made that way, but come on, I did EVERYTHING for years, its hard to get out of that habbit.

But the literally everything thing, that is childish. I would have been like, seriously, WTF did you go to jr. high? lol Sorry chica

I swear that men do things like that so they don't get asked to do things again...Glad to hear that everything turned out ok with Kit in the car!

Last night ODS was helping me fold laundry.I figured , hey if he wants to help then I'll let him.He was behaving beautifully and put away his clothes and was listening to me very well...I thought to myself, wow what a wonderful day this is turning into!10 minutes later DS#2 starts screaming from their bedroom and crying.I hear ODS yelling at him that he shouldn't have run his face into the truck...Sigh...DS#2 comes out with his right eye almost swollen shut and a scratch that starts at the very corner of his eye and leads away maybe an inch or so...They have a toy tractor trailer(like the one that you see driving that holds all the cars on the way to dealerships) and apparently ODS swung it and hit DS#2 in the face with it, then tried to blame him for running his face into it...Um, hello?!Not a great night...Stupid me for thinking we'd have 1 normal night around here...I thought DS#2 would have a black eye today but we must've put enough heat and ice last night because it's not even swollen...Little scratch still tho...

Oh wow Jessi I would've beat him.... And I too know the whole scenario of a hubby purposely screwing up on purpose when I ask him to do something makes me so grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

WOW! That is sooo scary! I would have beat him with a baseball bat! I hate to make the situation worse, but... who just leaves their kid in the car to go check out carolers? Man, I really hope he has learned his lesson though, what would have happened if it had been the middle of summer and super hot outside? What if you hadn't been with him? That's not something I would, personally, let my husband live down.

ummm yeah, he deserves a slap upside the head!!! How did he not know he had Kit...he saw you get out of the car with the bag of books...obviously you weren't carrying a huge infant carrier, so that would mean the baby is with you...idiot!!!

My man philosophy of the day:They only have enough blood to run one head at a time, and when they are vertical the blood all goes to the one in their pants...Sorry to be crude, but seriously who hasn't looked at their spouse at one time or other and wonder if they have a brain?

I second that Shannon! And Jessi - smack him upside the head for being an idiot!

Ooh yeah I second Elise and I think Kim said the same thing...Smack that man upside his head, that way he won't think your being to subtle on making a point!

Jessi I hear you on the DH not being much help...mine is the same way exactly I get up with the baby all night long and feed him and even mostly during the day also except maybe if my hubby feeds him twice in a day and yet my hubby has the need that during the day he takes naps not every day but on some days... only difference is ur hubby is employed mine is not... he's looking for work but Michigan is a hard place to find it I guess and When he decides that he needs a nap all I am thinking (and I tend to normally say this to him too) is why the heck do you need a nap when I am the one who gets up with Jeremiah all night long every 2-3 hours to feed and change him and then I am the one who gets up with Elijah at 7 am(mind you after getting to bed at like midnight sometimes later) to get him to school.....Men... they have no idea how hard it is to be a woman sometimes..especially when it is expected that we be superwoman coupled with sleep deprivation.

Jessi- seriously, you just need to give him a good swift kick in the balls.

I feel so bad for you guys, I may bitch about my DH occasionally, but usually that is just because I have a bur up my butt...if my DH didn't help as much as he does I would seriously loose my mind. He works 10 hour days...and usually gets up and makes the bottles for me in the middle of the night, I feed her...but when he has the day off the next day, those nights he lets me sleep and does it all. He is so interactive in the care of both my girls. I have to go to an overnight training the first week of December and although I am sad to not be home, I know they will be perfectly fine with him. I would not be able to handle nor do I think any of you should have to, caring for our little ones alone...I deffinitly think that some communication of what is expected from them needs to occur with those of your hubbies that aren't lifting a finger.

i totally agree with Kim -- i might complain at times too about DH, but he does A LOT to help me with the kids...he's really a great hands-on dad.

Seriously - for those who have DHs that are less than helpful, sit them down and try talking to them about it see if it helps!

My DH is very helpful for the amount olf time he is home...He works seriously about 80 hours a week, so I don't ask for much help...I'd rather have him get enough sleep so he doesnt crash his car...But at times I joke about being a single mom of 3, it's kinda true...

Jessi- you guys deffinitly need something...counseling at least, and I honestly think a temporary separtion with counseling would be beneficial...if he won't go, you need to by yourself...you seriously owe it to yourself and to your son...please don't keep putting up with his shit.

Yeah it seems his behavior is completely unacceptable. Life is no longer all about him. A separation with some counseling sounds like your best option. You dont need to be stressing yourself out over this when you are sleep deprived and trying to take care of a newborn. I know I complain about my DH too but he is the biggest help imaginable. In fact almost too much help.Even though he is back to work we switch off on the night shift every other night. I dont know how I would survive without that. I would have beat the crap out of my DH (verbally mostly and a bit physically) if he left the baby in the car. NO EXCUSE for that one! If he could be trusted I would pump a few bottles and leave the baby with him to take care of and go to the movies or grocery shopping by yourself. Let him experience what you go through all day long. I just dont know that he could be trusted to not neglect the baby. Oh girl I feel for you. Big hugs go out to you. Just remember Kit's welfare is the most important thing right now. Your DH needs to know that too.

Errr... I'm so sorry your going through this. Especially as a FTM. I knew it was going to happen here so at least I was prepared for it. Seriously though, if you need some time away (pardon my language but) screw the appointments, go to your moms. She'll be more than willing to help you out a little you can get some sleep, some help and try to regroup. All the while he can he seeing what it's like to have his family gone. I'd give that some serious thought.

it almost sounds like his gaming is an addiction, which obviously is a real problem...and I say addiction, because his playing and planning and obsession with the game interfers with your day to day functions as a family....have you talked to the counselor about that?

Jessi - I REALLY hate to say this, but it sounds to me like he wasn't really ready to man up for this baby. He seems like he's really jealous and just buggy and stuff. Then he is being childish about video games? Okay, I'll admit, I am totally sad that I don't have the time or money to get a PS3 and play the new GTA4, but I'm not sulking or treating my fiancee like crap cuz I'm a crabby patty. There are times when I want to put the baby down and take a go at San Andreas or pull out my N64 and play Zelda, but you know what? There is a baby that needs me and I know that my fiancee cannot always do everything for himself when its just him and the baby. My thing is, he sees you need help, but he does nothing. But when you know what to do to make the baby feel better, he seems to think he has the solution, when clearly he does not. I think maybe he is trying to prove to you and himself that he is not completely useless but for bringing in the money. I know sometimes Cory(DF) likes to try to calm the baby down on his own. But sometimes it takes two people to calm down Joey! Because sometimes you run out of ideas and need another person's ideas to add to yours. Anyways, he seems like he kind of resents the baby for taking all of your attention, and then goes and sulks. Also, do you think his excessive sleeping could be linked to depression? You know, men can have something similar to postpartum depression. I mean, what does your counselor say about all of this when you guys talk to him/her?