Need a Place to Vent?

Put it here! If you're mad at your husband, your in-laws, your coworkers, or even your friends, here's the place to let it all out!

I'll start! lol

It's the holiday season, so it goes without saying that visitors will drop by and we will have to go and see people during this time. But when you've got your first baby, it seems to be a little more complicated than all that. On top of Joseph having a strange feeding schedule for the last week, we haven't had ANY time to be a married couple. Last Saturday we went to my dad's for a christmas get together. I went with my mom Tuesday to get the stuff for our christmas eve party. Wednesday was christmas eve and everyone came over for our picnic dinner and to open presents. Christmas day, we went over to see DH's family. Friday, my mom's boyfriend's daughter, emma comes over to spend the night b/c she needs someone to talk to b/c her boyfriend is being a jerk. She eats a lot of our food(she gave us $20), and my cousin comes over Saturday. emma stays over til Sunday afternoon. I invited my cousin to come over Monday and she did so without calling to let us know she was coming over. She tells me my sister is coming over, which I was unaware of and who didn't call me beforehand either. After my cousin leaves, my sister-in-law stops by, again, unexpectedly.

So I am pretty sick of visitors and stuff right now. DH and I planned to spend New Year's just the two of us. Since he gets home at 8(more like 8:30) and is off tomorrow, we just want to have some "us" time. My sister texts me yesterday and asks if I can babysit her boys for New Year's Eve. Well I said no, because I was really tired of people being over at the house, it didn't matter who it was or whether or not I actually had to entertain them. I called my cousin to see if this was a jerk thing to do and she says it is b/c she was going to take my sister to this new year's eve party. So they are both mad at me and I can say nothing to make them understand my position. So last night DH and I went to dinner and a movie (thanks to my mom for watching joey). During the movie I get a text. My sister: "Ok can you dog sit for me from fri afternoon to sat afternoon." Well we were still in the movie so I couldn't reply. I call her to tell her no again b/c her puppy would be all over joey and I didn't want that, but that I might consider taking her older dog Abby that likes kids and keeps to herself. She tells me she got her friend Cassie to take both of them and hung up.

Am I the bad guy here? Has anyone else had this problem? I think I am the right and that THEY are being selfish. My question is, why is my sister so mad? She went through this kind of stuff before... Doesn't she remember what it's like with your first baby? I'm so peeved...

Ooohhh I've got a vent and a half!! Can I play too?

My vent is totally unrealistic and not necessarily a blame on everyone...I'm totally sick of sickness!!!!I'm frustrated with runny noses, fevers, and coughs and wondering if there is something else wrong with Lucas because he keeps running fevers.I mean I thought that breastfeeding was supposed to help prevent these things?!

Vent#2:Am I allowed a second one?Hope so...DH, my kids and I were supposed to go to neighbors for prime rib dinner...Not happening now.I texted her yesterday about Luc running a fever, she responded with"You still coming for dinner then?" That kinda ticked me off...But whatever so I said yes...today she says they're calling everyone telling them that they're calling off dinner because ,well come to think of it she never gave a reason...So now I have to try and figure out a nice meal to have for dinner tonight when I dont feel like cooking due to the first vent...Sigh...I'm done for now...

Bekah- I think maybe they're mad at you because they know they are being immature for being mad..Does that make sense?You said no, which is fine, and she's mad but she'll get over it...Its immature of them to get mad at you because you said no.Don't let it ruin the evening!Happy New Years Chica!!!!!!

I have a million and a half vents too... but I think I'll spare them right now. I was just going to tell Bekah.. if your normally a "yes sayer" shes mad that you've found your backbone.. She'll get over it. She just knows she doens't have a for sure thing anymore. I say.. Good for You!! You deserve some time for DH and Joey!

Whew @ all the vents I don't really have much of any vents at the moment....Other than my visit at my older sister and older brother's house went by way to fast and now I miss them. I found out while down there that my sister is planning on getting gastric bypass done on Jan 11. I am a bit nervous about that because I know complications can arise. But the bonus is she said I get her clothes when she loses the weight....yea new wardrobe since most all of my clothes come from a resale/secondhand store. But I am hoping I can get off some weight too then they will be too big for me...LOL A girl can dream right?
And my younger sister Trina is happy at her new home and it sounds as if this arrangement will be beneficial to her.
Other than that not much new.

Bekah- I would let them be mad you are not wrong for wanting to have alone time with your family ever. And if they are upset by that than obviously they are just selfish themselves. They will get over it in time but this is Joey's first Christmas and New years and that only happens once....so good for you for refusing to have distractions during this....also this is you and your DH first new years as a married couple and you all don't need added responsibilities this is your time to enjoy.

Bekah, you're being the mature one in that situation. They'll get over it.

Shannon, I know you had your battles in 2008. I sure wish you a much healthier 2009.

Jessica, reality bites! I'm fortunate that my mom lives 10 minutes away and every time she gets on my last nerve I remind myself how much I would miss her if she wasn't here.

My vent.... We had our Christmas celebration with DH's family yesterday. He has 2 brothers so there are 3 SIL's that have to blend together and I am SO different than they are. I get along with them ok but I am very mellow, soft-spoken, let things roll off my back (meaning MIL) and they are loud and demanding. We have 2 twin nieces that are 13 months old. We had to cancel our normal Christmas Eve celebration b/c they were so sick with RSV and MIL was sick. So, SIL with the twins asks if we can have it earlier than normal at 4pm b/c the twins get tired around 7 and they will be cranky. No big deal. DH and I were like, lets have it at noon and get it over with..well, the SIL that asks shows up an hour late then the entire time she's there she's telling MIL the things she needs to change about her house b/c of her girls. My MIL is a little old German lady that is very proper so we have a sit down, tablecloth, china dinner and SIL told MIL 'NO MORE TABLECLOTHS'....b/c her girls were trying to pull it off the whole time. WHAT!!! tell them NO.
Anyway, b/c they were late, of course we went into cranky time so while we're doing our gift exchange SIL is telling everyone to come on, just open their gifts, lets get this moving and it was a complete cluster. Then I had to wash Aubrey's 2 dirty bottles so she could use them b/c she forgot to bring a bottle for her girls....I know that now many things slip my mind but HELLO you were an hour late and you still forgot stuff.
MIL also gets very anxious and is such a nervous nelly and runs around with a high-pitched voice.
The kicker....my MIL's house is very small so on the way home DH asks me if we can start having their Christmas celebration. I already have an open house every Christmas Day for my family so I told him if they keep it on NY day that will be fine but I'm not doing Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.

That is my in-law vent....I'm so glad the holidays are over and that just bums me out b/c I have never been like that...in the past I have always LOVED the Christmas holiday.

Shannon - I am so sorry. Your year has been so rough with all the sickness. Maybe 2009 will be the year everybody was well for the first time ever lol. I'm so sorry. And why did she all of a sudden decide to cancel dinner? wtf? After asking you to still come even though lucas is still a bit ill? ugh, some people.

Jessi - It sounds like you had so much fun at your mom's. How old is she, just curious? My mom's like 53 so no more little ones since I was born heh. Is it nice to have a little brother? I am the baby so I have no idea what its like having a sibling younger than you. and I don't think nephews count lol. It sucks your DH has to go TDY again. I know how hard it can be to be away from your DH. And not only that, but not having anyone around to give you a break if you need it. I know I couldn't handle Joey 24-7 by myself. I salute you, girl!

Diana - Can I be frank? It sounds like your SIL is a brat and doesn't know how to discipline small children. You know, you can still discipline them without screaming at them or spanking them, in case she wasn't aware(if she was trying to pass it off as them being too young to be disciplined). Anyways, I'm sorry she is such a jerk and couldn't stick to her own stupid time schedule. I applaud you for putting up with her at all! When you have a 3 month old and she's got 13 month olds that could be handled if done properly. I say way to go! Yeah, I'm telling you, you should not be ashamed of telling your in-laws that if they want to do gift exchange it will have to be like a week after christmas. I know what its like having bunches of people over and it's not fun stuff.

AFM - I have straightened things out with my cousin and am going to straighten them out with my sister today. Apparently it wasn't that I said I wouldn't watch the boys or her dogs, it's just that I said something kind of mean on facebook(people take stuff on that site too seriously and I admit that I'm one of them). Anyways, my stupid SIL is being a complete you know what about the situation though and won't let me even call to apologize and talk it over. I mean, I know I've been super mad at her before but if she ever wanted to(and she never has by the way) call to apologize, I would have given her the chance. Anyways, she's being a brat and her and my brother are going to denver this weekend on a whim. Whatever. What a snob. She holds grudges wherever she can find them. UGH I'm about to say "see ya" forever! anyways, that's the last of my venting for now. Hope everyone stays problem-free for a few days! :-P

Ok I am ready to vent. I LOVE my DH. He, however, has gone mental or something. He has started making snide comments all over the place and I am freaking tired of it. I had to put name tags on all of Nate's stuff to take to day care and I had left the iron and ironing board up in the laundry room to let the iron cool. DH makes a wonderful comment like - "see this is the kind of crap I get to come home to".... I had to say "Uh - no its not" then I get "well I come home to baskets of laundry in here" So I HAVE to be snippy and say "Yeah clean laundry because I am actually the one doing chores around here. Why dont you lend a hand if you dont like looking at it and put it away." So that ends that conversation - then when I am having cereal for breakfast he is all accusatory with "What are you eating?" and I say "cereal..." "Well What kind?" he asks -All talking down to me about what I am eating. It was FREAKIN Total Cereal! Its stuff like this here and there all the time. It makes me anxious for him to go back to work tomorrow. I am never good enough it seems. Not able to clean enough, not a good enough mom, not in shape enough - but I am constantly working on things and doing things in these areas when he is on the couch playing video games. What a hypocrite he can be.
OH and I am now driving most of the time because the car seat fits in my car better (middle seat) but all he does is criticize my driving. Which is SO much better than his. (Dont we all think this?) It is just constant criticizing. I swear if Nate wasnt here and he was acting like this I would go on strike and let him take care of everything but there is someone else to think about.
He is starting to become really unattractive to me. Its hard to like someone who doesnt seem to support you most of the time. I am hoping this is just a phase and once I go back to work and we are on an equal playing field again he will become his wonderful self again.

Thats all for now. Thanks for letting me vent.
Ok I got it out. I feel much better. Thanks Ladies!

Vents....how unweighting they can be!!!

Here is mine and of course it's about DH and his rude attitude. So I am undecorating the Christmas tree when the baby starts fussing. He's not like irrate or anything...just fussing in his bouncy. I continue to undecorate the tree one, because I'm almost finished and two because I can't always stop what I am doing because Brenden is fussy...screaming is another story. So DH comes in the LR and starts to pick the baby up and I'm like "what are you doing? he is fine, just a little fussy" and he looks at me like I am a moron and says "he is my son and if I want to pick him up then I will"....I'm dumbfounded....then pissed. I said "well, I am the one here with him all day long and he can learn to calm himself if he is given the chance". anyway, I hurry and finish the tree and then feed the baby. While I am feeding him DH starts taking the actual tree apart. First off can I say that I bought this tree last year after looking forever for the right one. It's 8.5 feet tall and prelit so it's suppose to be easy...yea right. It has to fit into this ridiculous green bag for storage and you have to "unfluff" it or it won't fit. Anyway, he is standing there smashing the branches upwards and I'm dude you have to unfluff the tree, not smash it. So he continues doing the EXACT same smashing so I said again you have to unfluff it or it's not gonna fit in the bag. So he gets mad and says "so you are critisizing the way I am taking down the tree...how stupid. You can just do it yourself." Fine by me. I don't want my $350 tree ruined. So I finish feeding the baby and go and unfluff the tree....took all of 10 minutes. Well, I am 5ft 5inches and I can not just take apart a 8 1/2 foot freakin' tree. In the end he reluctantly took down the tree and put it in the bag....it barely fit even with all of my unfluffing. How insane is this? I was simply trying to explain to him about the unfluffing remembering what we had gone thru last year putting that monster away and he gets all huffy and puffy accusing me of critisizing and bossing him around. In my mind I am saving a heck of a lot of time because last year we had to put the tree back up to unfluff it....it took forever. That's my rant....I can't say anything without being a nag.

In the past few days DH has been getting under my skin a bit so I just may have a vent to post here in a few days or so if he keeps it up at this rate............

Ok - here's my vent -- it's about my DD...she is driving me insane with this whole potty training!! I just don't know if she is peeing in her pull-up because she knows she's wearing a pull-up, or if she honestly doesn't know that she has to pee. When she is in underwear, and we ask her every 5-10 min, she stays dry or starts in her underwear, realizes she has to go and finishes in the potty. It is so frustrating because it's not something that you can see, so it's hard to know if she's being stubborn, using it as a power struggle, or if she honestly has no idea she has to pee! She doesn't care if she's sitting in a wet pull-up or in poop! The other day, she was in underwear and pants and was playing in her room while I was in my room feeding Logan, and then she walks in and turns around and I noticed she's completely wet from the bottom down to the legs! She didn't say anything nor did it appear to bother her! It is SOOOOO FRUSTRATING!!!! She's 4 years old!! I was talking with my mom about it, and she doesn't have any suggestions either other than what we are doing. There isn't even anything that I can take away from her (activity wise or toy wise) that would make her care enough! I could empty her entire room of all her books and toys, and she would find something else to occupy herself with. Which is good, but not when you're trying to bribe her to go potty! She knows (and gets) M&Ms if she pees in the potty (2 if she's dry when she goes) and if she poops, she knows she'll get a present to open. And a couple of weeks ago, I mentioned to catch her before she pooped and got her on the potty and she pooped there, so she got a present. But since then, she's either pooped in her pull-up or her underwear! When we clean her up, we constantly tell her that she's too big to be pooping in her pull-up/underwear and that she's a big girl and needs to be putting her poops and pees in the potty. I'm just at my wits end!

DH was saying we should just send her to school tomorrow in underwear to try to force it, to which I told him "of course, because you don't have to deal with it!" he took the kids to the mall yesterday while i was at the outlets with my mom and Logan, and did he put her in underwear? no! but i should send her to pre-school in underwear and have her in underwear all day running around to after-school activities with the other 2 kids and carry around 10 changes of clothes and a few rolls of paper towels to clean up whereever she pees! ARGH!!!!

Ok - vent over.

Have you talked to her pediatrician about it and your frustrations? I know when I discussed it with my pedi last summer, as many of the toddlers my DD's age are potty trained, as a crazy first time mom I was concerned about her not being interested and she did tell me that if she wasn't showing signs of being interested by 3, she would help me with some ideas or look into maybe some other issue. McKenna likes to go, but when she wants to...I have pull ups but I was thinking about trying the cool alert ones to see if they make a difference, I do know she can feel it more when she has underpants on...but I am the lazy one at this point. I hope it clicks with her soon.

We had a tough time with ODS and he was 3 1/2 before he was trained...When we put pull ups on him he'd use them to go potty...When he had underwear on he'd pee in them and not care.At that time we were starting a new daycare(in a womans home)She said no problem and shed have him trained in a week.Basically it works like this.DS was new there and didn't know Pam(the "teacher")very well so he wasn't going to be comfortable enough to challenge her rules.She told him he needed to go in the potty.He had a few accidents but he did it.The first week he was there she told him he could do pull ups but the next week he had to use the potty.Pull them out of their comfort zone and they are more likely to care if they have pee running down their legs.Then certain things just began to apply.Always go potty before you go anywhere, because the minute they get outside and the cold hits them it makes them have to go.So our routine went like this:get up in the morning go potty, get dressed to leave, go potty, arrive at babysitters, go potty.Then when I picked him up he'd go potty just before we'd leave and again as soon as we get home.If you make it not an optional thing-not in a mean way-just in a this is how it is kind of thing, they go along with it.We still did pull ups at night until he stayed dry for a week every night then we did a trial without them.Middle DS was alot easier, mostly because he saw big brother going potty so he wanted to..Only took him like 3 days.Did notice though that when we tried potty training around holidays it didnt work because routines are all out of whack...We actually made it a point to take ODS and MDS out in public when we were potty training because even though they get distracted easier, they dont want strangers to notice if they wet their pants...All that said I'm not looking forward to doing it all over again...

Well here's my vent.. I'll try to keep is short.
I think I mentioned on the main thread that SO and I had a big talk on New Years about the changes that needed to happen in our relationship in order for us to try to stay together. He was all aplogetic and telling me he didn't want to lose me. ( HE NEVER DOES THAT!!) Anyway the next day we do aboslutely nothing he stays upstairs and I stay down. Well then I had to work on Friday and Saturday about Mid day he starts complaining how I'm not trying and I haven't bothered to make any changes.. WTF?? Seriously, you think everything is going to be better in 1 1/2 days? It took years for us to get to this point. It's not all going to magically just turn around. So then later in the night he comes downstairs and asks if we have any movies because there is nothing on tv. I help him find one and I ask him if he wants to watch it downstairs since DS is sleeping in his swing and DD will follow us no matter where we go. Well he makes this lame comment about not upsetting her and I should get him and come upstair. Fine whatever. So I get all my dinner, DS etc. and relocate upstairs. Well then yesterday.. he starts with the I'm not trying crap and bring up that he asked me to watch a move.. OMG! Somebody give this guy a freaking metal.. he actually watched a movie with me.

At this point it totally don't care if we make up or not. Of course after all that he want to DTD I say no.. repeatedly and he just keeps trying over an over all the while he's says he doesn't care, doesn't want it, will find it else where.. etc. Yeah.. all of that really makes me want some.. ERRR.. Sometimes I think I hate him.

okay well family can really suck sometimes. my mother until today was living with us and had planned on moving out in feb. however her and my husband got into it last night becasue she is a mess fo a person adn manipulative and does things to hurt me all the time. well this morning she left and took all her stuff so she moved out. she told my children that i was making her leave and that she would never see them again and it was all my fault. and she had to go off and yell and scream at me as she was leaving about how terrible of a daughter i am and how bad i treated her and how could i hurt her like this and blah blah blah. my mother is a problem and has been since i can remember i shouldn't feel bad i should be happy she is out of my and my family's life but she got to me today like she always does and well now i have spent the last 2 hours crying and being mad, sad, upset, frustrated, you name it i have felt it...lol everyone who konws my mother and me is like good riddins but well it hurts.

awww.. I'm sorry Eileen. That really sucks. Hopefully in a few days she'll come around and appologize, and you all can somewhat mend the relationship. And then you can enjoy having your house back..

wasn't she child care though what about your kids?

Well this is a recap on my vent telling elise I know all about the whole potty training issues.. Today I was changing my daughters diaper well rather this morning when she got up and before I put on another diaper I asked her if she wanted to wear pretty undies instead and she said yeah so I go and grab one of the few pair I have so far an put em on her. She has went pee twice today and is still Dry. I am ecstatic I only hope I am not setting myself up for disappointment by hoping it continues though. But am glad she has stayed dry thus far.

Joy - Congrats! I'm glad you're moving in the right direction!

AFM: We were actually able to catch DD pooping last night, so we ran her into the bathroom and she got it into the potty!! She got lots of praise and her present. Hopefully, this is a step in the right direction! This weekend we're going to push the underwear all day again.

no my mother used to be childcare but we ahve suicne put all the kids in childcare becasue all she did was put my 3 yr old in his room all day and let the baby cry while she played poker on the computer. she was aweful at childcare. atleast i am gettign my hosue back and i can get back to raising my kiddos how i want to without her geting in the way. it jsut emotionaly drained me and has jsut kind of made me all numb and exhausted me.

I'm sorry eileen. I was wondering if you had gotten that worked out. Well, goodbye and good riddance, right! Although, I can definitely see why it's upsetting. You don't want to have to do that to your mother. I mean, normally, someone wouldn't have to do that. But she was just using her being your mother as an excuse to use you. It also shows your kids that they should be appreciative of you b/c look at the way she treats you! They would not be happy if you treated them that way. Also, you want to show them how to stand up for themselves. I know they are young, but maybe someday you can use it to your advantage and tell them what happened and hope it helps them make better choices about how they treat their family. I'm sorry Eileen, but I am glad you can get back to a life that's at least a LITTLE less stressful.

Thank you. drama free is exactly what we are going to be doing...lol

Eileen, don't feel bad! You did what was best for your family! Your mom is an adult and can make her own decisions....your kids depend on you to make good decisions for your family! You can be sad because she's your mom, but be happy you did a very good thing for your own family! I won't go into details, because they are boring, but my mom lived with us for 4 months when Dawson was three. I ended up telling her she had to leave for several reasons but the most important was how she was egging on bad behavior and I was having to spank my kid for it. I love my mom...but she can never live with me again. Give it some time and you'll be at peace when you see how better your family life is! Keep your chin up and the drama at arms length!!! :-)