December is here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Chayce - happy b-day to dawson - my ODS will be 8 a week from Mon....i can't believe how fast the years have gone by! and yeah for behaving children!!

My dad was a smoker until i was a teenager, so i grew up with it and it was horrible! the steering wheel was always covered in cig soot and the smell was horrible! but, my dad hasn't smoked in over 15 years now. yeah dad!

I am so tired of the rain. It has rained so much that the gross across the street (all wetlands) has a little lake and there are ducks swimming in it! If it was a few degrees colder, we'd be inundated with snow. The upside to that is the kids probably wouldn't have school so I wouldn't have to leave the house!! oh well!! c'est le vie!

okay - Logan is still sleeping from the car ride this morning so i should probably try to get some stuff done before he awakens and demands to be held. he's been very clingy the last couple of days - he'll fall asleep and i'll put him down and then he'll realize that i put him down and start screaming. he only seems to want mommy these days.....makes it kind of hard to deal with the other 2 too! if i had realized how overwhelemed i would be, i think i would have made DH get snipped last year!! he has a dr appt on mon for a physical and to discuss the big V. I told him - no fun until it's done! okay, so i gave in once, but you better believe there was protection used!! that's all i would need!! NOT!!! okay - i'm going this time.

I have only smoked that one time while I was drinking...and I didn't have the girls so yes I did shower and remove my clothes before seeing them again, it really is just so hard...I was slammed this morning at work due to the weather and it would have just been so nice to have a cig after the rush...my Dh would seriously kill me if I started up full time. But I do realize that even for now it is just best for me not to have a drink or two...the need is to strong during those times to make it worth it.

Shannon- my Mom almost died from a pulmonary embolism, plus size and birth control related, non smoker though, so I am at a higher risk...and my Grandpa died from lung cancer, you would seriously think I would never think about...but that is why addictions suck!!!

Michelle- she kind of told me that it may come back...it just really sucks because I never had this problem before that IV, when did your sister's start? was it after an event or did it just occur? I seriously hope the procedure relieves some of the pain though.

Kim- Yeah they do suck...I was in the hospital for 5 days and out of work for 2 weeks from mine...Then 6+ months on lovenox and cumadin are not worth it to me...that was why my pregnancy was high risk from the beginning and I had to be on blood thinners the whole time...I still occasionally get the cravings and there are times when I'd give my right arm(not my left though lol) for a cig...But then I look at my kids and realize that they need me around much more than I need to feed my addiction...It helps me get through a craving...My PE lodged in the lower right lung...it will never move but it may also never fully go away...It's scary and so not worth my life...Quitting was one of the hardest things I've ever done but so worth it...Just think, having one can be all it takes to start again.Be carefull!!

Thanks Elise! Dawson is so excited he just can't wait!! I am taking him to do his Christmas shopping tomorrow (I always take him to the $ tree so he can buy for anyone he wants) and then to lunch. Afterwards we are stopping at the grocery to get everything for banana splits and his best friend is coming over Sunday to eat Chicken & Dumplin's (Dawson's request) and banana splits. Then next Friday is his big party. There is usually about 30 kids...I'm not sure about this year though....he's got a lot of new kids in his class. We'll see. You know, believing I was never gonna get another child I have always gone WAY out for every holiday for Dawson...I've essentially sent us to the poor house because I can't stop, it doesn't seem fair, and I have to treat both boys the same! When DH saw everything I bought for Christmas he said "don't ya think we should scale this back?" LOL

Kim - my sister has a cyst on her right wrist that she has dealt with for about 5 years (so sorry to tell you that!). She's had it drained twice but it flares up atleast 2 or 3 times a year. We can't figure out what triggers the flare ups or why it happend in the first place to be honest. She's not always on top of things like she should be though....you're getting help right away so hopefully you won't have the problems she has! I wish you much luck! And I remember the hard time DH had when he stopped smoking...especially on a Saturday night when he would get with the guys and drink beer. Saturday's were bittersweet to him for a very long time. He had to eventually quit going because it made him want to smoke so bad he couldn't stand it.

AFM - Brenden is so needy today. I don't know what's up! Actually I think some of it is DH and I have been arguing like crazy lately. He can be such an ass when he wants to be. This is a very stressful time of the year (all the events) and this is the first time I don't have a job or have tons of $$$ saved from a job. Before I opened in my bakery in 2005 I worked shift work in February, March, September, and October to pay for Christmas and a vacation and whatever else. The last 4 holiday season's I've had my shop which did really well right from the beginning. We are not broke (thank God) but I think DH is feeling the pressure of supporting all of us. I've always worked...except for the 1st year of Dawson's life....and helped for all the extra stuff we like. He makes a good living but I don't think he realizes that he really can support not only his family, but the life style we have become accustom to. Does that make sense? Ya'll know how most men are...they only see what's on the surface....so he thinks he's in a bad mood because he's working so much. Silly man...he's working so much because he wants that high pay overtime because he's afraid he can't support us on his own! LOL Anyway, I'm off to do laundry while Brenden is alseep in his bouncy for 12 minutes!

For the smokers- I am with you!!! OMG i feel like I just had my last smoke sometimes and I haven't since i found out I was pregnant back in Feb...lol My hubby smoked and now has quit but it is always easier for him but man i wish. It doesn't help that my mom lives with us until Feb and smokes and she drives me nuts. However I can smell how bad she reeks and that helps me not smoke. Hubby woudl kill me if I started and that is also a motivator...lol but i wish i wish going back to work where i did a lot of smoking liek you kim with the high stress job it is hard to not smoke. but I can't.

I havent started back smoking but the cravings do come and go. I have kept myself away from smokers since having Nate but I can say there are times where I would love one. Christmas is going to be hard because we spend the day at my Step mom's place and she and my sister both smoke. I cant even have one because it took me so much to quit and one will put me right back where I started.

Hey Ladies,
I just wanted to check in with everyone. My dog ate my laptop powercord so I had to wait for my job to replace it. It was almost a month of waiting. I checked email at my parents' house but I couldn't remember how to get to this website since I had used the link from bbc to get here. Anyways, hope everyone and their little ones are doing well. I'll be popping in more often now!!
Kristen

Awww Glad you are back now Kristen :-)

Joy that doesn't sound right...at all, that makes no sense to me. I would see if there is some sort of court advocate or discuss this with your CPS agency again before your next hearing.

Kristen- glad to see you back!!!

AFM, we got the tree put up, all the presents wrapped and the house picked up...now my procedure is this afternoon.

Kim- Good luck today!!!Let us know how it goes!

Joy-I agree with Kim...That doesnt seem right to me either...Just out of curiosity...Where does your sister want to live?Does she understand that if the state takes custody she will have even less coices than she does now?Do you think she may be acting this way because of losing your mother?You can totally tell me to butt out if you want to, like I said, I was just curious...I'd definetly try to talk to a lawyer if I was you.Unfortunately even though your pastor gave you advice, he can't give you good legal advice because he doesn't have the knowledge that a lawyer would on the ins and outs of the system...Good luck girl!!I'm here if you need to talk!

AFM-Keeping fingers crossed but I think all the illness is gone for now...Not much new going on here..I'm going through sales ads and online ads getting ideas for my kids for xmas...DH gets his bonus on friday the 19th so I go shopping for everyone on the 20th...Fun fun fun!But we have to do what we have to do..The hard part is that we never know how much its going to be so we don't know how Xmas is going to be each year until then...Then I have to wrap like crazy for the next several days...We have to drive out to my DH's aunt's house on Xmas eve(2 hours away)and then back the same night because of the dogs.Then out to my aunts on xmas day...I wish I could just say to everyone"Hey I have a new baby in the house and dont want to travel, if you want to see us then please come here"But DH won't let me do that...So who's traveling for xmas and who gets to stay home?

Shannon

Joy - I agree with the girls. You can't be fully sure if she was just bullying you into keeping your sister or if it was all very true. I also want to let you know that your sister could very possibly apply for emancipation but I think she would need to prove she had an apartment, a job, and that she was going to school... So maybe not lol.

The last thing I wanted to say was this: I was 15 not very long ago(6 years in january) and I remember what a pain in the ass I was. My mom chose to be with her boyfriend all the time instead of with me. So I went nuts doing drugs and sleeping around and overeating because nobody was there for me. Nobody was enforcing rules(my mom had a weird policy of 'if you punish them, they'll do it anyway') and I had no one there for comfort. My brother had joined the army and was gone to germany and my sister was married with kids of her own and my father has never really been one for closeness. Well, I finally got so bad with drugs and skipping school and everything that I tried to kill myself. I ended up going to a mental rehabilitation place in south dallas i believe and was there for a week, let go, then back again. I had to move to my grandmother's to sort myself out. I grew up a lot the year and a half I stayed with my grandmother. I'd like to think I did it on my own, and that being far away from the people who bullied me and the people who supported my addiction to weed (i know thats stupid but it was so bad I was skipping school all the time and just sleeping around with dudes.. not a whole lot mind you!) was what really helped it all.

What I'm trying to say is this, maybe this is her way of coping with the loss of your mom. If they were close, maybe she just really misses her and she has to act out. Who knows? But I got over it by at least 16 or 17. I know that is a while to put up with her, but... maybe pull back on some rules(you can also tell me to butt out) once in a while. See if you can talk to her, or maybe take her to cheap therapy. I know I never fully got over my problems til after I went to therapy. It helped me to make the decision of dating better guys and raising my standards and then I met Cory! so... therapy isn't all that bad. Maybe see if your sister can get on medicaid and then use it for therapy. They provide that stuff til your 19 or 20. So she'll have the help she needs and it wouldn't cost a thing! Maybe she just needs to talk. I don't know, you can tell me to shut up if you want. I don't mean to be nosie.

So other than talking to some sort of legal counsel, I don't know what to do with that other than let it ride out on its own. She's 15, what do you expect, heh(sorry)

Joy - I'm with everybody else. That just doesn't seem right especially is if was a temporary trial. I would speak with a lawyer or maybe even just a different CPS agent. I would seem more neglectful to make the courts take her out of your custody/guardianship than for you to relinquish on your own. Other than that sorry I'm not much help. I don't know anything about that. .. But YAY.. for your DH getting aprroved for more unemployment.

Shannon- I agree with not going anywhere with baby. I think we are staying home. I'm pretty sure SO's sister invited herself to our house for X-mas since her parents are going out of town. That's cool.. I don't want an empty house for the holidays.

Kim- Good Luck.. and way to put the petal to the metal and get all squared away before your procedure.

Kristen- Welcome Back!

Geeze.. I'm sorry I missed the smoking conversation the other day. I had NO IDEA so many of us were/are smokers. I've been on and off for years. Quit when I had DD.. started again. Quit this time again and am determined to not start again. I've had one or two cravings, but not to bad. Just like Kim, I'm scared of what I'll do if I have a couple of drinks. Eek.. I know I'll be reaching. However, I totally turned me off to see my (at the time) 2 year old, say Mommy, what are you doing.. I wana blow too! And proceed to pretend smoke. Even though we only smoke outside that was enough to make me want to quit.

Here's a GREAT detterant.. aside from the obvious health reasons. I'm pretty sure everyone is tight on money.. I know I am. Here's the break down if you smoke a pack a day.. give or take some of course..
1 pack a day - for 1 day - $5.50
1 pack a day - for 1 week - $38.50
1 pack a day - for 1 month - $154.00
1 pack a day - for 1 year - $2,002.00!!!
1 pack a day - for 5 years - $10,010!!!

Ok.. I can think of a ton of things to do with 10 GRAND other than smoke it up! (P.S. - this trick works great of all kinds of bad habbits.. like fast food, coffee ect..)

had my procedure,typing with one finger! lol, it hurts like hell...still wont know much until the pathology report comes back

Man I am glad I copied my message before trying to send it because the darn forum signed me out somehow.. and the whole darn thing would ve been lost whew...

First thank you for all the responses.I would never ask advice then tell you ladies to butt out LOL thats why I was asking heheheh:D
I actually did call Legal Aid Monday and explained all the the attorney and she said that it definitely sounds a bit odd to her how they could even dare to try and pin neglect on me because I have not been neglectful. And that she totally agrees in why I am wanting to relinquish guardianship due to the circumstances and problems I am dealing with Trina and her behavior. And that because it was up for review on yearly basis that I should have every right to decide if I want to continue or give up guardianship. She said she is going to refer my case to her supervisor and they will check and see what is on the attorney's docket for the next two weeks and see if they can get me representation if needed. Also she said she was going to try and get a hold of the CPS worker and find out exactly how and why they would be viewing me as neglectful. She said as soon as she hears anything she will call me back.

Shannon- I'm not sure where Trina wants to move exactly but she doesn't wanna be here. I have made her aware that she will end up in foster care because neither my older brother nor my older sister want her for the same reasons I am going through. That's why I was nominated when mom died to take her because they knew she would be alot to handle. She still insists she hates it here and hates us and our rules. Which she doesn't really have many rules compared to most teens her age. Her acting out could be partially because of my mom passing but I think ultimately she is just purely unhappy living here and is extremely jealous because she doesn't have my 100% attention all to herself. But that I cannot help I have 3 young Children of my own that need me and need to be my first priority kwim? Also in addition to that she treats my DH with disrespect and it is through him that she even has a roof over her head because we get absolutely no state help for her. So the income is solely provided by his unemployment. And because of that he has made it clear he wants me to relinquish my guardianship because he sees how it stresses me out with her behavior and the constant fighting and yelling and arguing with her is not good for our kids to have to be around. and her acting the way she does is showing our children how to be disrespectful as well.

Bekah- She cannot be emancipated as she is mildly (MR)mentally retarded and will probably always need supervision as she does living with us. I cannot even leave her alone in the house to go out of town to the store and she goes to the neighbors saying she is scared and we lock her in her room and made her stay at home alone which is totally not true she has never been locked in her room. Her counselor has even stated that she shouldn't be left at home alone since then. She is 15 but developmentally she is only maybe 6 or 7 if that. I mean some of the stuff she does and the way she acts my 5 year old son doesn't even do. I tried to get her into a local place called the Harbor House(a place for troubled teens) a few weeks ago because I was ready to just rip her hair out due to her mouthing off and not listening. Her counselor told me to try and take her there but even they refused to take her and said that she needs way too much supervision and that she has to be willing to listen and follow rules and that during the assessment she made it clear she doesnt like rules or listening and they said that would be too big of a risk considering there are other teens there they wouldn't be able to constantly babysit her. It was similar to the thing you were in that they take the teen for like 2 weeks send them home a week and then take them again and they work with them on different things. As far as like rules she doesn't really have much expected of her except to listen when told to do something,not mouth off, go to school, do homework. Basically she has it very easy compared to other teenagers as she has no chores because I cannot trust her to do them as instructed and have them be done right I would have to go behind her and redo them anyways. I mean even of simple things she has to be told and reminded ie showering brushing hair changing into clean clothes and even them things she does poorly. She is on medicaid and receives services through Community Mental Health because she is developmentally challenged and her counselor has stated that Trina leaving would be the best for her and for us because her being here and not wanting to be here and stressing us out and not listening which results in her being sent to her room all the time is not good for us or her. Her counselor has mentioned she doesn't anticipate Trina's behavior or attitude towards us is going to change so that it would just be best to let the court find her placement to where someone specialized in working with MR kids would better be able to handle her and her needs.

Also one thing I did forget to mention about her is that she also has to be closely watched around young children because about 3-4 years ago she was caught at my older sisters house molesting her(my older sister's) 2 year old son. And the little boy ended up telling on her and it was found out about it by my older sister which is another reason why she did not want to take Trina. So I constantly have to be on guard with that as well. So her poor behavior along with this is why I think it would be in everyone's best interest as well if she is removed.

So I am really hoping that there is an attorney who will be able to represent me when I go back to court on Dec 22nd for the review hearing. I will keep you ladies updated on things. Sorry for the huge post....again.... but I just needed somewhere to get it all out on and hubby will only listen to the rants for so long lol. Glad to know I have a group of friends here I can just spill my guts to.. thanks again for your advice.

Joy, your sister should be getting $$$ from Social Security(for things like clothing, housing, heat, food) since your mom has passed and she was her dependent....have ya'll ever checked into it?

Joy-I agree with Michelle.There's got to be a way to get some state funding to help her.Either Social Security(because of your mom) or even Social Security Disability for herself.Some friends of mine have a young man living with them that sounds a bit like your sister and he gets SS disability because he can't work.It's a tough situation that you're in having three young kids, a DH that isn't working, and a challenging sister to work with.There's got to be an adult home or somethingthat she can go live in...I have some questions for you but will send them privately...

Kim- How're you doing today?

AFM- Nothing much to report here...Just trying to go through some recipes for dinner...Anyone have a good recipe for shepherds pie?

Shannon

I am doing better today...sore, but not to bad, it helps keeping it elevated so it doesn't throb.

Shannon- My shepards pie is super easy, brown up hamburger and layer that on the bottom of the cassarole dish, spread a can of cream of mushroom soup, add two cans of corn and spread that out, and then add mashed potatoes, either left over ones or I make instant in a pinch and then I bake it on 350 for an hour.

okay, so next time I say anything to anyone about anything, I am going to NOT be an ass and try to get the full story heh.

Joy - I'm sorry. I didn't know she had a mental disability. Well does the court know that she has previously molested children? I know this sounds a little hateful but maybe that would make it okay for her not be at your house anymore, given that you have 3 kids of your own, two of which are boys. I honestly think with as much work as she is, they should allow you to give up guardianship, but it seems as though things are going in your favor. So basically forget anything I said from before... I'm a jackass lol

AFM - we finally started decorating our tree lol. I have a few things coming in for Joseph and DH. We are getting our rings in soon. so... YAY! Also, we received Joey's pictures from this Our365 portraits place (they come to your house to do sittings and stuff and there's no fee for sittings or appointments, but the pics of pricey... but good!) Anyways they are totally precious. But I had to correct our collage. And apparently I don't have to send it back for replacement. So, I'm going to cut out the pics in the collage and give them to people as wallets(photos i mean lol). ^_^ Well its super cold here and luckily DH was off work these days its been super cold so we have stayed in. I was going to go change my name on my Driver's License, but... too cold and too long of lines! Anyway, we are going to chill here and watch hancock today. Oh and DH got shorter hours on Saturday so we can go to a Christmas thing my dad is throwing! You have no idea how happy I am about that, since DH is never there with us at family venues...

Kim- good to know you are doing okay! I'm sure you're breathing a sigh of relief....

Bekah - it's freezing here also! The weather is driving me nuts! It's hot (like wearing shorts weather) and then freezing (like staying home weather)! Yea for getting your tree decorated and being able to go to a family gathering AS A FAMILY! :-)

Shannon - there def has to be something for Joy's sister....it seems like you have to "know someone" who "knows something" to get anything anymore! They should make the programs public knowledge so when people need help they know where to go for crying out loud! Sorry...no recipe for Shepards Pie...DH won't eat it :-(

AFM - I'm really upset! I can't get anything done! Brenden has been really clingy, which is far from normal for him. He's definately not a cuddler but now he wants you to hold him so he can cry on your shoulder. If I put him down he SCREAMS. Right now he is asleep in his bouncy but it will be short lived. I have gifts to wrap and cookies to make. I also have candy to make for my son to take as teacher gifts on Friday. DH is taking a cookie tray to work on Thursday....my dough isn't even made! It was so much easier when I had my shop because I'd just have an employee do it or I'd stay late and do it myself! I say that now but in years past I was complaining because all I did was work. Now I have no job and still have no time. I don't remember being this consumed when Dawson was a baby...surely I was....and just don't remember.

Michelle- You've got a point...I think the only reason that my friend was able to get the SS disability is because his boyfriend is a lawyer for the government...Sorry Brenden isn't cooperating...Luc has been super clingy lately but will only sit with me...DH can hold him for maybe 5 seconds before he screams again...If I hand him to someone and leave the room he will calm down with alot of rocking and back patting...I thought teething maybe but he's not drooling or anything and I don't see or feel anything in there...(ODS had 2 teeth come in at 10 weeks)I hope your able to get all your stuff done....I still have to do ALL the Xmas shopping yet and then wrap everything...DH and I are going to his work Xmas party on Friday night...Not sure how I'm going to be able to stay up past 9pm lol but will figure it out!

Yea Shannon, I've thought about teething too! Can they really start getting them this early?? Brenden is eating his hands and there is some drool but not alot. Man, I've forgotten a lot of stuff since I had Dawson. However, he was three months old when he came home from the NICU...actually Brenden will be the exact age Dawson was (92 days old) on Christmas Day. Hard to believe he was in there that long... Friday is also Dawson's birthday party and the last day of school before the holiday break. I have to make 48 Star Wars Clone Wars cupcakes but thankfully we are having his party at a bounce place so I don't have to do anything else. I also have to figure out how I'm going to get everything in my van (suitcases, pak n play, gifts, toiletries, dog, dog bed, stroller, ect) for my now family of four to go to Oklahoma next week! Do I sound stressed???? LOL

Bekah- as for the teenage years I was similar but I ended up pregnant and got straightened out thank goodness.

shannon- glad the sickness is gone! now I have it...lol

michelle- good luck on your cup cakes, i am making 6 dozen christmas shaped cookies for decorating for thursday and that is daunting to me the non cook!

Joy- you need to think about you and your family and it sounds liek your siter is just not going to fit in to that. I would call teh ARC and also lok online for programs adn group homes and stuff. There has got to be an answer and it is not you.

AFM- ug here is my days off, I got sick, got all the chrsitmas shopping done, monday daughter was senthome with lice yeah! and I am even sicker, have christmas party at my house thursday night to egt ready for. the house is a mess from the lice clean up. so stressed not to mention I have to stay up until this afternoon wednesday (today) after working tuesday night ( i work 11pm-7am) so stressed.

HOWEVER my hubby has been bugging me about the present he got me saying i will love it and so on. well he finally cracked and let me see the package wrapped up and it is from that jewler "jared" which for my hubby is like OMG! so i am excited. I konw about how much he spent ($2000) and I am not allowed to look at the bank account to know for sure. but i was thinking it might be a wedding ring since the one i have is $100 walmart special that i like but we talked about getting a nicer one later on. i am so curiouse now!!! it could just be a set of earings and a necklace i guess but it is two little boxes and it is going to drive me crazy until christmas!!!